Kathy Kinsner: What it Means to Be a "Big"
Although I sometimes wonder how I'll fit one more thing into my week, when Ashley and I are together I sort of forget about everything else. Being a Big is challenging, heartwarming, an investment in the future, and just plain fun. I love being able to look at the world from a young person's perspective. I'm sure our match has meant as much to me as it has to her. Last October, I returned from a business trip. Ashley was rummaging around in my refrigerator, and I was standing nearby, straightening up some kitchen stuff. I said, "You know, I learned at this conference that the thing that seems to make a difference in kids staying in school is one person who tells them it's important, believes in them, and tells them they can do it. Do you have anybody like that?" Not looking up, she said, "no." I said, "You don't?" She looked up at me, laughed, and said, "Of course I do. You." If you were looking at superficial things, you might not think Ashley and I have much in common. We're of different races, from different neighborhoods, and separated in age by almost 40 years. But we've made a connection. Ashley is resourceful, considerate of other people's feelings, curious, honest, and willing to try new things. I think I have some of those qualities, too. We have done some great stuff together - from rowboating (which, in Central Park, is more like bumper boats) to renting a movie and cooking pasta. One of my favorite "projects" was the day Ashley styled my hair. (This involved a hot comb and a great deal of trust.) Last week, we got manicures in honor of her sixth-grade graduation. I am ordinarily immune to fashion, so it looks like I'm learning a few things, too! It means a lot to me to have an impact on a younger person's life. It's fun in the present and I really feel like I'm contributing to the future. I'm happy to be a Big Sis, and I'm grateful that my Little Sis is Ashley.